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Wednesday, July 25th, 2001
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1:18 am - one more thing
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I forgot to tell you how great it is to try to sit and paint a 3 year old's toenails! It wasn't too bad but I think I will stick to painting the toenails of children ages 7 and over.
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12:48 am - anyway...
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I definitely read like hundreds of pages of Chicken Soup for the College Soul because Adam was watching a movie I wasn't particularly interested in at the moment and it was like over 2 hours long! Then I got tired and like fell asleep on his couch...but you know how you get to that point where you are like almost asleep and the slightest thing will wake you?...well that is when Adam would choose to randomly move and I would jump awake. But probably the most depressing thing about today is my grandfather. My brother and I are the only grandkids on that side of the family so we are all really close. Well about once a year, my grandparents go through this phase where they say things like "don't forget me"..."we're always here for you even if it is in spirit" and such. Well my grandfather was telling me a story about how he was eating lunch at Hymel's with a good friend. The friend went to the bathroom and my grandfather went home only to find out later that the man, who had never been sick a day in his life, had a massive heart attack in the bathroom and died. When my grandfather,also referred to as Andad, told me the story, he laughed like it was no big deal but I could see all this hurt in his eyes. Adam was there but I know he didn't notice it. That is the first time I remember my grandfather ever showing pain. I mean I was there right after he had massive surgery and he showed no pain but this was different, it was like a deep loss to him. I hope I never see that again. Ok..enough of that...I am off to bed.
current mood:  sleepy
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| Tuesday, July 24th, 2001
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6:39 pm
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He was workin' through college on my grandpa's farm. I was thirstin' for knowledge, and he had a car. yeah I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child. One restless summer we found love growin' wild on the banks of the river on a well-beaten path. funny how those memories, they last.....
Like strawberry wine, 17, the hot July moon saw everything. My first taste of love whoa bittersweet, but green on the vine....like strawberry wine.
Well I still remember when 30 was old. My biggest fear was September, when he had to go. Afew cards and letters and one long-distance call. We drifetd away like the leaves in the fall. Well year after year, I come back to this place, just to remember the taste......
Of strawberry wine,17, the hot July moon saw everything. My first taste of love, whoa bittersweet, but green on the vine..like strawberry wine.
The fields have grown over now, years since they've seen the plow. Theres nothing time hasn't touched. Is is really him or the loss of my innocence I've been missin' so much? YEAH.
Strawberry wine,17, the hot July moon saw everything. My first taste of love, whoa bittersweet, but green on the vine..like strawberry wine.
current mood:  happy
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3:31 pm - all i gotta say...is your love's extra ordinary...your extra ordinary baby
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So not much has been going on in my life. I spent all day following Adam's 1962 Oldsmobile Cutlass convertible. At least I got free lunch out of it from Hymel's cause my grandparents love me. Actually some guy paid for our meal...long story. I gotta go get the chipmunks soon. I might bring pink toenail polish to paint Carolyn's toenails because she requested I do such. She wasn't bad yesterday so I might. They get McDonald's tonite for supper which is good for me...cause I don't gotta cook for them. But now I must go downtown...and there had better be damn parking today or I am not gonna be happy.
current mood:  content
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3:45 am
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Tonight was so very interesting. After work, I went to Coffee Call with Dana and her friend Elliot. He is funny. Cute too. But we got there at 11 and stayed till about 1:30, I guess. We got Eddie D. to sign his picture for us. I don't know why Eddie has 8x10 black and white pictures of himself at the register, but he does and he said I could have one. I love Eddie...he did not whoop me for not eating. I danced with Elliot in the middle of Coffee Call. It was hilarious. Then, as we were leaving, Dana starts talking to Sean, the guy who was washing dishes. They were talking about me, because he wanted to know "what my story was". He knows I am young, but apparently he does not care. He asked me if I had a man--Hell no you for real?, if I wanted one--Hell no you for real?, and would I date--sure it is all good. He has no idea what he would be in for.
Dana and I went to Walmart after CC b/c I needed wrapping paper to for Sue's stuff. Well, as usual, Walmart was a blast. Dana was cracking me up the whole time. I bought a bottle of mustard for $.67 and I squirted it all out of my window while Dana drove my lil car. There is a mustard trail from Walmart on Perkins to near Essen. I don't really know why I did that, but it was fun. While I was dumping the mustard, 3 dudes in new BMW pull up and ask us where we're going. Home. They thought it would be better for us to go downtown with them b/c they had plenty of condoms. Well yippee. I said Fuck NO to the dude driving, and he said he would pay us to strip instead. By this point, I was getting pissed off because he kept pulling up next to my car and it was messing up my mustard stunt. I didn't wanna get his car. So anyway, I said no need to pay--here is a free show. I then proceeded to take off my shirts, and show them what they wanted...or at least part of it. He wanted to see ariola...I told him it was a street in Florida--go find it, ass.
Ahhh it was a good night. I hope Sue likes her gifts from Nick and I. I think they are cute. I even got a nice mushy card to go with it. =) I love my mom, even if she is a pain sometimes. Who isn't?
current mood: satisfied
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| Monday, July 23rd, 2001
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2:53 pm - pain is no good...
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12:55 pm
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I have decided that my best friend, A.K.A. Melissa, is a terrible human being. She made me look at the poor ugly people at uglypeople.com. However, I am also disappointed in myself, because I laughed. God bless you Melissa...you just sneezed. =) I LOVE YOU!!! -Danielle
current mood:  amused
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1:15 am - Change is a great thing today
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I worked tonight, and it was fantastic. I was having a great time until about 9 PM. We got 7 delivery orders in like 5 minutes. I was trying to bag orders, ring ppl up, and answer the phone. It was hell for those 20 minutes, and then all was back to normal, and I was finally able to breathe again.
Seems like people are not as dumb as they used to be. Some have not changed, but others have changed their whole attitude. I won't say mention anyone in particular, and I am sure he won't read this, but thanks a lot. I am glad to know that we are ok. I must say, I am impressed.
I really didn't mean to hurt you. Like I said 1000 times--it was not the right time. I didn't want to be with anyone then, and I had no clue what I was doing with my life. I guess it was basically a waste. I had no idea how much I hurt you, and I am truly sorry. Thank you for being honest with me earlier. I know you think that I hate you, but I don't. Actually after reading all that stuff you wrote recently, it seems as though hatred was not a strong enough word to describe the way you felt toward ME. OK thats enough now.
Tomorrow is the day I find out about the car. I have to call Sue and give her the info and then we shall find out what I need to know. If it doesn't work out, I will be upset, but I know there are other cars. I like the Accord at Team Honda, but I am not sure if I want to buy it. It is nice. We shall see!
current mood:  blah
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12:22 am - it seems to make sense now...
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Lately I have been thinking/worrying/overreacting to lots of things. But I sat back and just let it all go and I think it is all starting to make sense. Not like perfect sense..and not like I have everything figured out, but it's starting to come together and not be so random. I feel a LITTLE bit more comfortable about things in general. I think if I were to give Adam absolutely nothing, he would be perfectly happy. His mom would be incredibly upset but at this point, she shouldn't even be a factor. I will not give him nothing, just not anything near what he has for me. And that's ok. But I drove from Alexandria and back today and I am rather tired...and Adam is gonna be on 2une In anywhere between the hours of 5-7 A.M. so that will be just great. But now I am gonna go to bed.
current mood: sleepy
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| Sunday, July 22nd, 2001
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3:56 pm
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Once again I am angry with this car situation. It seems like I am going in circles with my mother. I was looking forward to coming home so I could show my mom the car and then we could get it checked out and all that stuff you have to do when you buy a used car. I am not angry like I was before, becasue now there is a chance, though rather small, that I could end up driving the car. I don't think I will cry about it again...=)
I am still shocked that I cried about a CAR.
I just thought of a guy I have not talked to in a long time. I think the last time I saw him was the 3 Doors Down concert. I miss him. If only I had his digits....then I would be set. Hope he comes to see me at work sometime in the near future.......
-Danielle
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| Saturday, July 21st, 2001
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11:31 pm - nonsense...it is all nonsense
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I have new polka dot panties...thanks Stephen. You are most definitely the greatest.
"You can fuck my body baby, but please don't fuck my mind."
My room is a mess and I am about to fall asleep.
I miss him. It makes me so mad that I can't NOT think about him.
I was so very glad to see Melissa tonight.
Some people should not be allowed to make music. Some people should not be allowed to make movies. But they are allowed...and they do.
current mood:  tired
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4:51 pm - I AM HOME!!
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Vacation is good, but I always want to come home early. A week is too long to be away from my humble abode...I am not quite sure what I miss about my house, but there is something...Oh and I missed that damn car. I am determined to own that vehicle, no matter what it takes. I really think I would give a body part for it...I mean maybe just a toe... but still. I missed Melissa a whole hell of a lot, but I had fun fun fun in the sun with Dana. This has to be the most fun I have ever had in Florida.
Now I will say what went on to make this such a fantastic trip. My 4 cousins were there and they are rather amusing. We went to Alvin's Island shortly after we arrived to find someone to make us a shirt with chickens on it. The airbrush man in there (FAT BASTARD) was not very helpful and he also said that he did not do custom designs. So there went that place. We then went down the road to Herbie T's. He said he could do it so we found a book in Walmart with a chicken in it. That was the closest thing to a chicken that we could find so we made it work. We bring it to this crack head airbrush man, whose name is Jimbo might I add, and he says it is fine. Well, to make a long story short, he said he would make them--$20---but every time we went in he was either not there or he made up a bull shit excuse. Dana bitched him out and we took our business elsewhere. Dana was pissed all day after that.
Hmmm we also decided to start skim boarding while we were there....big mistake. After about 15 falls something happens to your brain and you keep doing it even though you are continuously busting your ass. I landed on my bad knee 3 times, hit both shins with the skim board, and cut my foot on it too. I kept doing it. Dana had the best falls though. HAHA ohhh chicken I still see you falling face first into that water...LOL... I am totally and completely infatuated with Boat Man. He was gorgeous. I have never seen a person look this beautiful in all my days....GOODNESS.
Sue says that I cannot get a tattoo but She can bite me...I will get one if I damn well please..and I do. Ok enough of this now. I will write later.
-Danielle
current mood: thankful
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1:05 am - don't you know that I'd go crazy...cause you know I'd miss your smile..."
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My favorite lyric from the song "crazy" by Nine Days would have to be "The words inside my head...are better left unsaid...to lie like the ghosts beneath my bed". I miss Adam. I used to have this big problem with thinking I wasn't a priority in his life. That other things came first. To me, today kind of proved that. It's our one year anniversary and he isn't here because of commitments he made to Teens As Leaders. I have accepted it, in my own little way, but it still takes time to deal with these things. Then there is this whole gift thing. I know he is gonna blow me out the water with whatever he gives me. Nothing I could ever give would compare. Thus comes another lyric from that song previously mentioned: "Don't you know that I'd go crazy..but I've nothing left to give". Adam swears it doesn't matter but it's like I am gonna feel awful when he presents this great gift to me and I dont have anything near it to give to him. I have racked my brain for months...literally and have come up with nothing. Sometimes I just decide not to rack my brain and hope it just appears...but it doesn't work. I can't give thoughtful gifts. It just isn't me. But I think if I can't give thoughtful gifts, I shouldn't get thoughtful gifts. Stupid, I know but it's how my warped little mind works. I know I have something good with Adam...so why do I worry about petty things like gifts? Who knows? Not me...that's for sure. Sometimes I am fully aware of the fact that I don't deserve Adam. It's like he knows exactly where he is going...what he wants to do...how he wants to live the rest of his life. I have nothing. No idea whatsoever. I think it's unfair to drag him into that with me. Maybe it is true that opposites attract. In any case, Adam is definitely gonna wonder if I have gone crazy when he reads this but I am just sad that he is not here...so hopefully he won't worry too much. For now, I am gonna do something else so I don't have to think about it too much.
current mood:  lonely
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| Thursday, July 19th, 2001
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3:36 pm - blah
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I woke up feeling sick this morning. Which isn't good because I had a TON of things to do. Then tomorrow is the anniversary...one year...long time, I know. Adam isn't gonna be home tomorrow so we were gonna go out tonite. Well...Adam likes to give gifts that are incredibly thoughtful. I am NOT that type of person so I have been racking my brain for months and I cant think of a thing to get him. I think this upsets me because I know that if I gave really thoughtful gifts, I would want the same in return. He claims it doesn't matter, but it does to me. So I guess we are gonna go out tonite but I think I am gonna wait until Saturday to give him any gift. Adam, if you read this, it's not as bad as it sounds so don't get upset or worry. I gotta go get the midgets now though.
current mood:  frustrated
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2:02 am - and i said...how about...a revolution?
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Let me tell you a funny story about a certain Adam Broussard. He babysat for some girls one time and when their mom came home, Adam was laying on the couch, tied up, watching tv. Well...these girls are now 9 and they live down the street. A few weeks ago, Adam had to go over there for something and he was in his Mustang...which is fairly new so this girl had never seen it. He also decided to get her back for tying him up. So she is out in the front yard on the riding lawn mower. Adam drives by really slow and she freaks out, jumps off the lawn mower and it hits the back of a car in the driveway. She is hysterical for a while even though she knows it is Adam. Adam's mom talks to this girl's mom the other day. Turns out Adam has done psychological damage to this girl. She won't cross the street without her parents with her. She also has a psychiatrist appointment next week. Oh well...such is life. I just hope Adam leaves no psychological damage on me.
current mood: frustrated
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| Wednesday, July 18th, 2001
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3:08 pm
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I miss Danielle. She'll be back soon hopefully. Definitely Saturday...maybe Friday. In case you were worried, my mouth is fine now. I am going to Adam's house tonight. His parents are crazy. They bought one of those 30 day things from Blockbuster so we have to rent a movie everyday. So he invited people over to watch one of those movie tonite...so it should be fun. But for now I have to go get something for Adam because Friday is our one year anniversary. (not a big deal to some people but it is to me ) I also gotta go pick up the midgets.
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| Tuesday, July 17th, 2001
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3:27 pm - Dentist Adventure
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So I went to the dentist today to get 4 fillings and 2 sealants. *Note: Melissa has never had dental work before except for braces. So I all numb and then halfway through, the dentist is like, "can you feel this?" and I could feel him pushing on my lip so I say "yep". So he says "load up another one" and I get another shot. 5 shots altogether. No good. I can feel my tongue now...and I can talk so that's good. But now I must go to work and get the mail.
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12:49 am
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I am going to get my teeth worked on for the first time ever tomorrow! I have had braces...that is the extent of my dip into the world of teeth! I am scared!
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| Monday, July 16th, 2001
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2:04 am - too tired to sleep
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So it's 2:01 and I can't sleep. Apparently someone is going to call me at 9 and wake me up...we will see how that goes. I have decided I will make up my mind about my opinion of people and stick to it...Steven. :) What to do? I have less than a week until a certain day is coming up...that involves A-dam Hero-man and I can think of NADA to get him. Boys are so hard to buy for. Especially boys that insist on being thoughtful...which I have no problem with...just makes my life a little more difficult. Enough talking about that. I am ready to get away from my family...well at least my mom and my stepdad. My stepdad is the biggest prick known to man. I think I have done enough rambling for one night. No typos...impressive huh Steven?...that's what I thought. This chair is so damn umcomfortable...so I am moving. Nite.
current mood:  uncomfortable
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| Sunday, July 15th, 2001
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2:32 am - oh what a night
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Ok...so let me get started. I had to go to this dumb meeting with my mom for church and it went an hour and a half over. As a result, Adam left me to go to Shea's. So I ended up getting really pissed at him, hanging up on him, and making Mary my date for the evening. We go to the party together and it's like all of a sudden I wasn't mad anymore at Adam. I just wanted to run over and apologize but I didn't. I was too busy dodging Lauren's throw up. Well, Jacob, Lauren, and Erin were all a little out of it. Luckily, Rick had Lauren's keys and Jacob didn't drive in the first place and someone took Erin's keys. So Adam drives Lauren home in her car and me and Mary follow. Then we all go back to Shea's. Mary cracks me up. She was such a little mommy. She wanted to put Lauren to bed and put a "throw up" pot next to her in case she got sick. But anyway...all in all it was an interesting nite. I am sorry that Danielle and Dana had to miss it but they are in Florida swimming with the sharks. I miss Danielle. She knows that though. I am sure she will call in the next few days. It is rather early though. I must go to bed. If you want to read something funny...read cooterbrown 's journal. It will only be funny if you know who "slimmie and piss" are. :) Love ya Dana! Nitey nite!
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